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Are You as Committed to Your Partner as You Are Your Gym Membership?

by / Wednesday, 31 July 2013 / Published in Family, Professional, Relationships

What’s your weakest link?

It is said that the strength of any chain is only as much as the weakest link.

In life, these links are the mental, emotional and physical aspects of you. In order to remain strong, each link must be equally strong. Strength in each link of the chain is built with attention, focus and commitment.

At times, the focus needs to shift from one aspect to another – but if one link is weak, the chain can break…

So what’s your weakest link? Which part of you needs the most amount of attention? Focus? Commitment? Is something not right?

Often, our most important connection is through the link created with our partner. Yet this can quickly become weakened or disconnected. Or maybe the link was never meant to be. Sound familiar?

Here’s a peek at what might be causing this disconnect from your life partner. See if you recognise yourself (at least to some degree) in any of these signs that you are not committed to your relationship:

  • You put your interests before those of the relationship
  • You dismiss your partner’s requests for closeness and intimacy
  • If your partner wants to discuss the relationship, you quickly change the subject
  • You don’t actively seek time together (and may not feel a need to do so)
  • You find it easy to point out your partner’s faults
  • You may feel attraction toward another person (and may act on it) and engage in distractions such as work, hobbies and even addictions
  • You stay in the relationship because of convenience or benefits

If this is your situation, examine closely what may have caused it (and more specifically, your role in the situation). This kind of introspection is necessary. Emotional health and fulfillment is an essential link in your chain!

Negative emotions such as resentment, anger, depression and anxiety can take a very heavy toll on your personal energy, physical health, and your ability to focus and deliver excellent work (your emotional state directly affects your productivity and career success!).

So how do you strengthen the weakest link and create that connection?

Use the H-E-A-L technique to restore a desire for full commitment:

  • H: Hear your partner when he or she communicates with you – be present and really listen
  • E: Empathise with your partner – put yourself in his or her position! See things from a different perspective!
  • A: Act – follow your words up with actions; express, and follow through, with a desire to address your partner’s needs
  • L: Love – express unconditional love

I encourage you to talk to a therapist who can help you verbalise feelings and get clarity on the situation. Most relationships can be repaired and the joy and love that brought you together can be restored. Then, you will be secure knowing that the emotional leg of your tripod of life is strong, stable and can support your greatest goals.

A partnership is meant to enhance the lives of both people so keep that in mind as you work on creating an environment of mutual love, respect and support.

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