When you said your last goodbye with your partner… did you say, “I love you”?
Three little words that are spoken so easily when the relationship is new… and often so rarely as the years go by. But what if there were no tomorrow? What if your goodbye was indeed the last one? Would you regret not saying it, for the rest of your life?
To be fair, many couples rarely verbally express their love for each other. To them, it doesn’t matter. Their love is expressed in other ways. So the question is, is saying “I love you” necessary for a great relationship? And does it have to be said, just to prevent guilt of not saying it should something terrible happen?
If you grew up in a family where verbal expressions of love were common, you will naturally want to do the same in your romantic relationship. But if you grew up in a family where “I love you” was never heard, you may feel loved, you may express love in many wonderful ways, but you may never say those words that your partner longs to hear. How important are those words to you? Do you need to hear them often? Has your partner communicated his or her needs to hear “I love you” and have you communicated how much you need to hear it?
Actions speak louder than words. “I love you” may not be necessary if you love each other with actions. However, sometimes “I love you” is the sweetest sound in the whole world. If “I love you” is missing in your relationship and you want more of it, try giving it before you ask for it. Giving what you want to receive is the best way to get it!
So what is love, really? How does it manifest itself?
Love is: unconditional, selfless, complete acceptance of your partner and yourself – as you are. It is an affectionate, passionate desire to be together.
And that’s worth mentioning, every day. A daily dose of “I love you” strengthens your bond just by being said. Whether it’s whispered at bedtime, or the last thing you say to each other as you head off to work, it’s a daily affirmation.
Spoken affirmations help you establish neural pathways of thought – or thought habits – and by saying “I love you” every day, you create and reinforce feelings of love toward your partner.
No matter the state of your relationship, you can step back, right now, and take notice. Become aware of something that you are doing or believing that is preventing you from saying “I love you.” It’s a golden opportunity to forgive, repair and rekindle.
Even if you’re not feeling particularly loving toward your partner at the moment, ask yourself if saying “I love you” will harm, or benefit, the relationship. You will find that if you say “I love you” even when you’re seething with anger, you will feel better, and even create a positive shift in the relationship, simply by elevating the situation from the dark energy of anger to a light energy of love.
Make your last goodbye an expression of love. You will not regret it!